Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Everyday

by Jay Shetty

The only way to build a meaningful life is to filter out that noise and look within. This is the first step to building your monk mind.

No matter what you think your values are, your actions tell the real story.

We have three core emotional needs, which I like to think of as peace, love, and understanding

They respond to that pressure and agitation by growing stronger bark and deeper roots to increase their stability.

intermittent stressors—such

approach them head-on, like those trees standing up to the wind,

you think you’re too good for something, you succumb to the worst egotistical impulses, and you devalue anyone who does that chore.

miracles happen when you embrace your dharma.

The emotion you fall asleep with at night is most likely the emotion you’ll wake up with in the morning.

Whether you are at a work meeting or having dinner with friends, the conversations you have, the words you choose—you won’t ever have another opportunity just like that one. In that moment you can’t change the past, and you’re deciding the future, so you might as well be where you are.

We are training our minds to be where we physically aren’t. If you allow yourself to daydream, you will always be distracted.

Being present is the only way to live a truly rich and full life.

from the biggest city to the smallest corner of a room—has its own particular energy. Every location gives off a different feeling, and your dharma thrives—or falters—in specific environments.

The more your personal spaces are devoted to single, clear purposes, the better they will serve you, not just in the fulfillment of your dharma but in your mood and productivity. Just as the room where we monks slept was designed for nothing but sleep, so every place in the ashram was devoted to a single activity. We didn’t read or meditate where we slept. We didn’t work in the refectory.

Another option is to simply repeat an ancient samurai saying that the monks use: “Make my mind my friend,” over and over in your head. When you repeat a phrase, it quiets the default mode network—the area of the brain associated with mind wandering and thinking about yourself. The monkey will be forced to stop and listen.

We say things to ourselves that we would never say to people we love. We all know the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. To that I would add: Treat yourself with the same love and respect you want to show to others.

We all have happy memories that we enjoy revisiting and painful memories that we can’t let go. But both nostalgia and remorse can be traps, closing us off from new experiences and keeping us locked in the unresolved past and/or the good old days. Just as the past is unchangeable, the future is unknowable.

Attachment brings pain.

Often all that holds us back from achieving the impossible is the belief that it is impossible.

I had to learn to redirect my attention from the physical discomfort by talking to my mind. I still use this technique at the gym. If I’m doing crunches, I bring awareness to a part of my body that doesn’t hurt. I don’t recommend this for psychological pain—I’m not a stoic!

When I asked him how we cultivate those skills, he said, “We train our brains. In the end, it is your mind that translates the outside world into happiness or misery.”

As the Bhagavad Gita advises, “Cultivate buddhi or your discriminating intelligence to discern true knowledge, and practice wisdom so that you will know the difference between truth and untruth, reality and illusion, your false self and true self, the divine qualities and demonic qualities, knowledge and ignorance and how true knowledge illuminates and liberates while ignorance veils your wisdom and holds you in bondage.”

As the aphorism goes, “You are who you are when no one is watching.”

The two things to remember are the bad we’ve done to others and the good others have done for us. By focusing on the bad we’ve done to others, our egos are forced to remember our imperfections and regrets. This keeps us grounded. When we remember the good others have done for us, we feel humbled by our need for others and our gratitude for the gifts we have received. The two things that we were told to forget are the good we’ve done for others and the bad others have done to us. If we fixate on and are impressed by our own good deeds, our egos grow, so we put those deeds aside. And if others treat us badly, we have to let that go too. This doesn’t mean we have to be best friends with someone hurtful, but harboring anger and grudges keeps us focused on ourselves instead of taking a broader perspective.

“Unforgiveness is like cancer. It will eat you from the inside out,” says Johnson.

We think we are our youth and beauty. Recognize that whatever you have—a skill, a lesson, a possession, or a principle—was given to you, and whoever gave it to you received it from someone else. This isn’t directly from the Bhagavad Gita, but to summarize how it sees detachment, people often say, “What belongs to you today, belonged to someone yesterday and will be someone else’s tomorrow.” No matter what you believe in spiritually, when you recognize this, then you see that you’re a vessel, an instrument, a caretaker, a channel for the greatest powers in the world. You can thank your teacher and use the gift for a higher purpose.

Detaching inspires gratitude. When we let go of ownership, we realize that all we have done has been with the help of others: parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, books—even the knowledge and skills of someone who is “self-made” have their origins in the work of others. When we feel grateful for what we’ve accomplished, we remember not to let it go to our heads. Ideally, gratitude inspires us to become teachers and mentors in our own way, to pass on what we’ve been given in some form.

Arguing with a partner. The desire to be right, to win, comes from your ego’s unwillingness to admit weakness. Remember you can be right, or you can move forward. See the other person’s side. Lose the battle. Wait a day and see how it feels. Topping

So often we don’t take chances because we fear failure, and that often boils down to a fear of our egos getting hurt. If we can get past the idea that we’ll break if everything doesn’t go our way immediately, our capabilities expand exponentially. My own

Here’s the irony: If you’ve ever pretended you know something, you probably discovered that it often takes the same amount of energy to feign confidence and feed vanity as it takes to work, practice, and achieve true confidence. Humility allows you to see your own strengths and weaknesses clearly, so you can work, learn, and grow. Confidence and high self-esteem help you accept yourself as you are, humble, imperfect, and striving. Let’s not confuse an inflated ego with healthy self-esteem. The ego wants everyone to like you. High self-esteem is just fine if they don’t. The ego thinks it knows everything. Self-esteem thinks it can learn from anyone. The ego wants to prove itself. Self-esteem wants to express itself.

You are not your success or your failure. Sustain this humility after you’ve achieved something too. When you are complimented, commended, or rewarded, neither lap it up nor reject it. Be gracious in the moment, and afterward remind yourself of how hard you worked, and recognize the sacrifices you made. Then ask yourself who helped you develop that skill. Think of your parents, your teachers, your mentors. Someone had to invest their time, money, and energy to make you who you are today. Remember and give thanks to the people who gave you the skills you’re getting recognition for. Sharing the success with them keeps you humble.

Bruce Lee said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

André Gide said, “Believe those who search for the truth; doubt those who have found it.”

Real greatness is when you use your own achievements to teach others, and they learn how to teach others, and the greatness that you’ve accomplished expands exponentially.

We have been digging deep into who you are, how you can lead a meaningful life, and what you want to change. This is a lot of growth, and it won’t happen overnight. To aid your efforts, I suggest that you incorporate visualization into your meditation practice. Visualization is the perfect way to heal the past and prepare for the future.