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It sat on the crossroads like a trap, catching the dregs that washed up from the wastes of Karhari—mercenaries, convoy guards, raiders—lost souls who had no place to go and wandered the planet of exiles until they found their place, or someone relieved them of the heavy burdens of their life and possessions.
Oo
Humans didn’t get out much. Through a twist of cosmic fate, Earth sat on the crossroads of the galaxy. It was the only twelve-point warp in existence, which made it a convenient hub.
Oh ahah
“Just five words,” Lord Soren said. “Can’t wait to meet her.” Great. Just great. Soren reached over and awkwardly patted her arm. “It could be worse.” She couldn’t for the life of her see how.
Oo
To tell him about the two Kozor women or not to tell him? If he were Melizard, she would’ve held back until she had something more concrete. That settled it. “I overheard a conversation in the spaceport.
;)
“My mother is never insulted. She is far too dignified and refined for that. She has the patience of a saint.” “Lady Ilemina,” Maud quoted from memory, “Slaughterer of Ruhamin, Supreme Predator of the Holy Anocracy, Bleeder of Ert, Fierce Subjugator of…” “Like I said, too dignified to take offense. If someone dares to insult her, she simply kills them, and she isn’t going to kill me. I’m her only son. At most, she’s annoyed, perhaps slightly irritated.” Maud sighed. “But I’m not her son.”
Dude ><
What good are beetles? They are neither food nor pets. I would’ve squashed it. You never know when one of them will turn out to be poisonous.” Vampire worldview, condensed into three sentences: If it’s not food or a pet, kill it, because it might be poisonous.
Venomous?
“Do you understand me, Lady Maud?” “I do,” Maud said. “Yes.” The royal leaned closer and popped a berry into her mouth. “Tell me, what are you doing here, among these barbarians?” “One of them asked me to marry him.” “No,” the green tachi from the right gasped. “You mustn’t.”
;)
A third insult. The dark-haired vampire at Seveline’s right flashed a quick smile. Couldn’t help himself. A tachi on her right leaned to her and murmured in Akit. “Would you like me to kill her? I can do it quietly tonight. They’ll never figure it out.” Oh crap. The last thing she needed was to cause an interstellar incident.
But awww
The lees let out a collective squee. “She is so cute!” “Look at her hair!” “Look at her little boots!” Helen stood in the whirlwind of lees, looking slightly freaked out, like a cat greeted by a pack of overly enthusiastic little dogs.
:)
Clan Nuan watched her. For some reason it cracked her up even more. She laughed until she snorted. “Did I say something funny?” Nuan Cee inquired. Maud managed to get the giggles under control, enough to squeeze out a few words. “How long was Nuan Nana waiting in that hallway for me?” The room was suddenly quiet.
:)
Such a clever, manipulative trap. I’m primed and ready to spill all of my secrets.” For a moment the Merchant just stared at her. Then Nuan Cee raised his paw-hands and dramatically rolled his eyes. “You can’t win them all.” The lees around them giggled. “You’re as ruthless as ever,” Maud said. “You flatter me, Matilda,” Nuan Cee said.
;)
Maud swirled her wine in her glass and smiled. “Nobody has ever met a Mukama.” “No,” Nuan Cee admitted. “But here we are, enjoying the fresh air of their home world.” Nuan Cee startled.
Oo
Helen waved at Arland. He took a step into the room, but the lees swarmed him, pushing him out into the hallway. “You left her alone!” “People were mean to her.” “She was sad!” Maud glanced at Nuan Cee. He smiled at her. Arland looked at her above the lees, a pained look on his face, and raised his arms in mock surrender.
:)
She bent down, and the camera caught his body impaled on spikes below. The recording blinked, and a second body joined the first. Then a third. And a fourth. “He had three brothers,” she explained. “They kept coming after me, so I told them that if they tried to fight me, they would die in the same spot their brother did, and they followed me to the cliff. Worked every time. I already had the spikes set up. It seemed a shame to waste them.”
Oo
She picked it up, leaned forward, and blew on the mirror. Faint words appeared, written in the glyphs of the Merchant clans. With compliments from the Great Nuan Cee. The lees. Of course. And so sleek, too. A little message to her—we can slip into your quarters anytime we want.
Oo
The light shot out in a new direction. An open window framed by long gauzy curtains. Whoever was filming this had to be hanging just outside of it. Knowing lees, they were probably upside down.
Oo
Arland shut his eyes for a long moment and then fixed her with a glacial stare. “I implore you to take this seriously.” “Never underestimate the impact of a strategic hip roll.” Where was she even going with this? It was like she couldn’t stop. “I’m sure some of the ladies within the bridal party would be intrigued if properly motivated. If I get in trouble, I’ll just bite my lip seductively and twirl my hair…”
Oo
I haven’t had a moment to myself since I was ten years old.” Lord Soren stood up, took a small blanket off the back of the nearest chair, walked up to Arland, and draped it over his nephew’s head like a hood. Okay. She hadn’t encountered that before. “He is giving me a mourning shroud,” Arland said and pulled the blanket off his head. “Like the mourners wear at funerals.” “So you may lament the tragic loss of your youth,” Soren said.
Their version of the world's smallest violin?
She twisted herself into a pretzel to become exceptional in every way, all so she could be paraded before the visitors with an unspoken context of “Look what an exemplary House we are. We have taken a human and shaped her into a vampire. Listen to her recite the ancient sagas. Watch her perform for your amusement.”
><
It was a test and you had three options: first, you could pay the price and be known as a fool by their great-great grandchildren; second, you could walk away and be judged too rigid to become a business partner or an ally; and third, you could bargain. Only the third option brought respect.
Oo
Lady Maud is a student of vampire history. Tell us, my lady, what do we know about occupying the territory of other houses?” Thank you for that bus that just rolled over me after you threw me under it. Felt lovely.
Oo
just realized they had overplayed their hand, revealing more than they intended. He had two options now: he could beat a graceful retreat, or he could barrel on ahead. Given that he was a male vampire knight, he valiantly chose the second and threw himself into the assault with all the subtlety of a battering ram.
Oo
The tachi turned to Maud, switching to the Akit dialect. “They think I killed the child; the royal is angry. Now they know I saved the child; she is angry. I do not comprehend this species. How have they ever managed to achieve interstellar civilization without self-destructing?”
Because they had to kill a predator first
The rest of the lees rushed past them, washing over them like a wave, and rolled down the hallway, parting around Ilemina, Otubar, and Soren. “I have nothing to trade,” she said. Nuan Cee’s turquoise eyes shone. He grinned, displaying sharp, even teeth. “I am sure we can come to an arrangement.” “Get out of my medward, vermin!” the medic screamed. “Do not worry yourself.” Nuan Cee patted Maud’s hands as a mob of lees carried the medic out of his medward. “All will be well now.”
;)
i hope they never write a lees villian. i adore them so
Maud blinked. Of all the words she had expected the Knight Sergeant to use, the expletive meaning the bloody diarrhea of diseased vermin was the last on the list.
;)
It’s something one might use in retaliation for being beaten, and we do not lose.” “I need a carrying case for this,” she said. “Why? The vial is unbreakable by normal means and is hermetically sealed.” Maud smiled. “You don’t just hand someone a terrible evil without impressive packaging. We need a chest filled with velvet or a high-tech vault container with an elaborate code
:)
It felt like an odd tea party. Here she was serving cosmic cookies and wine to a queen of enlightened predators and the head of a clan of ruthless assassins. Nothing much at stake except an interstellar alliance. Whee!
:)
He may prove a valuable resource. Alternatively, you can storm his ship, put him in chains, have him dragged here and hidden in some dark hole, and when you’re suffering from an attack of melancholy, you could go and poke him with a stick. It would cheer you right up.” “I don’t do melancholy.” Arland sat up straighter. “I am the Lord Marshal of House Krahr. I have no time to mope.” Maud shrugged. “There is your answer then.”
:)
“If we leave any gap, any hint at an alternative interpretation, they will drive a space cruiser through it. We have to make this super simple. Short, clear sentences. No ambiguity at all or we will end up explaining to Lady Ilemina why the lees now own the station and half of the planet. This will require an extensive edit.”
Oo
His steel fingers clamped her right shoulder. He jerked her to him and roared, baring his fangs. She grabbed a fork from the table with her left hand, jammed it deep into the roof of his mouth, and twisted. The fork snapped in half. Blood poured from his mouth.
Rofl
The mace slammed into the table with a telltale whine and bounced off. The engineer was right. These are really good tables.
;)
A blink and he landed among the lees. “Let me go!” Helen snarled and kicked, but the lees swarmed her, petting her hair and making cooing noises.
Awww
“I want you to feel like you’re doing well.” “Is that so?” “You’re so scared, you stabbed me from behind, so I’m trying to boost your confidence.”
:)
Otubar fixed Arland with a heavy stare. “You did well.” Arland looked like hiding under the blanket had occurred to him as well and he was seriously pondering the merits of that idea.
:)
