Emotional labor also encompasses the work of managing the feelings around these kinds of tasks: not ruffling a male partner’s feathers, for example, by pointing out that he has done something badly, and avoiding asking for too much of his “help” or “support” within a household. As a result, many women face a potent double bind: Don’t ask, and you’ll be saddled with far more than your fair share of material, domestic, and emotional labor. Do ask, and you’ll be violating the implicit social code that tells women to keep the peace, nurture others, and not be too demanding.
