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That most people, deep down, are pretty decent.
There is a persistent myth that by their very nature humans are selfish, aggressive and quick to panic. It’s what Dutch biologist Frans de Waal likes to call veneer theory: the notion that civilisation is nothing more than a thin veneer that will crack at the merest provocation.4 In actuality, the opposite is true. It’s when crisis hits – when the bombs fall or the floodwaters rise – that we humans become our best selves.
If there’s one lesson to be drawn from the nocebo effect, it’s that ideas are never merely ideas. We are what we believe. We find what we go looking for. And what we predict, comes to pass.
Cynicism is a theory of everything. The cynic is always right.
‘We are not rational enough to be exposed to the press’.29
‘News is to the mind what sugar is to the body.’
‘If you want a clever fox,’ he says, ‘you don’t select for cleverness. You select for friendliness.’
When I understood this, the notion of evolution didn’t feel like such a downer any more. Maybe there’s no creator and no cosmic plan. Maybe our existence is just a fluke, after millions of years of blind fumbling. But at least we’re not alone. We have each other.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
In a weird way, to believe in our own sinful nature is comforting. It provides a kind of absolution. Because if most people are bad, then engagement and resistance aren’t worth the effort.
When confronted with hatred or selfishness, you can tell yourself, ‘Oh, well, that’s just human nature.’ But if you believe that people are essentially good, you have to question why evil exists at all. It implies that engagement and resistance are worthwhile, and it imposes an obligation to act.
Communication and confrontation, compassion and resistance.
When it comes down to it, we’re alone.
We’re born with a preference for good; it’s in our nature.
It seems we’re born with a button for tribalism in our brains. All that’s needed is for something to switch it on.
And so rulers needed someone to keep tabs on the masses. Someone who heard everything and saw everything. An all-seeing Eye. God.
Money may be a fiction, but it’s enforced by the threat of very real violence.33
‘The world benefits more from continuity than from continual change,’
‘The opposite of play is depression.’
Time and again, researchers remark on the fact that almost everybody has something worthwhile to contribute – regardless of formal education – as long as everyone’s taken seriously.
communism’s ‘failure’ seemed to rest solely on the evidence of bloodthirsty regimes in countries where ordinary citizens had no say – regimes supported by all-powerful police states and corrupt elites.
‘institutional diversity’, which recognises that while markets work best in some cases and state control is better in others, underpinning it all there has to be a strong communal foundation of citizens who decide to work together.
if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It’s as simple as it gets in this complicated world.’1
‘If you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?’2
‘Treat people like dirt, and they’ll be dirt. Treat them like human beings, and they’ll act like human beings.’3
Contact engenders more trust, more solidarity and more mutual kindness.
That’s how good overpowers evil – by outnumbering it.
‘When he trusts a person,’ Sisulu began, ‘he goes all out
‘travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness’.
time and again, we find ourselves back in the trenches. All too easily we forget that the other guy, a hundred yards away, is just like us.
When we hole up in our own trenches, we lose sight of reality. We’re lured into thinking that a small, hate-mongering minority reflects all humankind.
Far better, she says, is to accept and account for the fact that you’ll occasionally be cheated. That’s a small price to pay for the luxury of a lifetime of trusting other people.
if you’ve never been conned, then you should be asking if your basic attitude is trusting enough.
Because that’s what empathy does to us. It’s exhausting.
compassion is simultaneously more controlled, remote and constructive. It’s not about sharing another person’s distress, but it does help you to recognise it and then act. Not only that, compassion injects us with energy, which is exactly what’s needed to help.
Understanding the other at a rational level is a skill. It’s a muscle you can train.
People with the nerve to get on their soapbox at social occasions. Who raise unpleasant subjects that make you uneasy. Cherish these people, because they’re the key to progress.
cynicism is just another word for laziness. It’s an excuse not to take responsibility. Because if you believe most people are rotten, you don’t need to get worked up about injustice. The world is going to hell either way.
