But it is far easier to hate a wastrel husband than to feel all the horror of one’s poor choices, the pain of one’s insecurities. And so I loved my hate. I fed it and stoked it because it shielded me from a mountain of personal pain. But once I had removed the shield—or, as I said, a dam, if that metaphor works better for you—emotions flooded me, hurt and pain and such bitter regret.”
