Master of Salt & Bones

by Keri Lake

Media vita in morte sumus (In the midst of life, we are in death)

Fairy tales are just that. Tales. Don’t get too caught up in it.

It’s sort of like ... sitting in a cemetery. Being surrounded by death can either make you feel incredibly vulnerable and alone, or it can make you grateful to be alive.”

“In French, the word for orgasm is la petite mort. The little death. Not like real death, from which you never return. This gives new life. Over. And over. And over.”

“Sometimes … a person just wants to be noticed.”

“I’ve been surrounded by liars my whole life. It’s strange to hear honesty. However brutal.”

“The world is filled with sadists and masochists. You either find pleasure in doling pain, or receiving it.”

Maybe that’s the reason they call him the Devil. Because the madness that breathes within these walls is as real as the man who feeds it.

I mentally replay the moment I leapt from that cliff without a single thought of consequence. If I’d died, or lived, didn’t matter to me. All that mattered was the exquisite rush of fear and recklessness that burned inside of me. A paradox of racing toward death in order to feel alive.

Experience tells me these feelings will begin to fester and evolve into my least favorite thing of all: obsession.

“I almost think you enjoy watching me stumble into you.” “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it somewhat amusing.”

Humble pie was never my favorite flavor.

“You’re my curse. Staying away from you, is like trying to hold my breath when the tide is rising.” His words dance around my head, the deep timbre of his voice titillating my senses. “I want to drown in you.”

“Why did you touch me, at all, if you had no intentions of following through?” A smirk takes hold of his lips, one I want to smack right off his face. “Why do we bother to breathe, when we know we’re going to die?”

“How tragic, to crave the very thing that can destroy you.

“I want my name to echo inside your head like a blade across your skull, because that’s what you are to me. The knife that cuts deeper and deeper.”

“You’re mine. And I would never hurt what’s mine.”

Besides that, the heart is a dangerous organ that isn’t meant to be free. Why else would God have built a cage for it?”

“Have you ever loved a woman?” He seems to hesitate for a moment, but shakes his head. “It’s the only brand of pain I refuse to inflict on myself.”

“When you cut yourself with a blade, there’s an open wound, and blood and pain, but the pain comes to an end and the wound seals to a scar. So you cut yourself again and again, because you forget how much it hurt the first time. The heart is a different animal. A caged, lonely scavenger that feeds on its own wounds. Its scars never heal, because you can’t mend the very thing it needs to survive. So the wound continues to fester, until what’s left of the organ is eventually consumed by its own self-mutilation.”

“I’m not the devil they make me out to be. The heartless, callous monster. You can’t do this shit to yourself without feeling something. That’s the problem. I feel everything. I feel it very deeply.”

“There are darknesses in life and there are lights. You are one of the lights.” A quote from the book. He turns his eyes to mine, and I swear there’s a flickering flame in them. “The light of all lights.”

“I never know whether to slap you, or kiss you, Lucian. It’s the most confusing feeling in the world.” Eyes on the road, he sets his hand on my thigh in a possessive way. “Nobody fucks with you when you’re with me. Ever.”

“I have to admit, you’re not what I expected.” “What were you expecting?” “Not you.” “Good? Bad?” “Good, unfortunately.” “Why is that unfortunate?” “Because this is supposed to be filler, but you’re making me curious about the plot.”

“Because there’s a saying … absence makes the dick grow harder, or something.” Snorting a laugh, I shake my head. “Ah, I think you’re mistaken. I believe the phrase you’re looking for is, makes the heart grow fonder.” Taking my hand in his, he guides my palm to the massive bulge in his slacks. “I’m not mistaken, at all.”

“And I’ve decided he’s not the mean and scary monster I first met.” “Funny what happens when you take the time to get to know someone. I’ve decided the same thing about you.”

She’s mine. The breath of new life. The steady pulse in my veins. The long-awaited beat of a heart that’s been dead too long. My kindred flame.

“We try to be civilized, us human beings, but ultimately, we’re animals. All of us. And in the kingdom of animals, only the strongest survive.”

“When you love someone, it’s hard to unlove them. They make mistakes, they do things you hate, things you don’t agree with, things that drive you absolutely mad, but when it comes down to it? You still love them. You can’t help it.

“I thought I was going to lose you. That’s a level of insanity I don’t ever want to experience again.”

“I’d have given up my soul to the devil himself for you. If that isn’t fucking love, then I don’t know what is.”

“When you feel dead inside, you inevitably reach for things that make you feel alive. Pain. Adrenaline. Drugs. That’s how vices are born. That’s how you became my obsession. You are what makes me feel alive. Like a breath of air after drowning.”

Together, we are madness. And there is music in madness, and madness in love. It doesn’t matter what the world thinks of us. Because we’re the composers, the conductors of our own fate, and we write the notes to a beautiful, dark melody that no one else can hear.