Can't Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation

by Anne Helen Petersen

As Michael Kimmel, author of Manhood in America, described to Lockman, men find all manner of ways to “opt out” of equal labor. “Men often tell me, ‘My wife gets on me all the time because I don’t vacuum, and I’m watching a baseball game, and she comes in and says, “At least you could vacuum.” So I do, and then she comes back and tells me I didn’t do it very thoroughly. So I just figure I won’t do it anymore.’ I say to them, ‘Well, that’s an interesting response! If I were your supervisor at work and I assigned you a report, and I wasn’t happy with what you turned in, and I told you so, would your reply be, “Well, then, I’ll never do that again!” ’ ?” When I’ve recounted that story, in person or online, some respond that the problem lies in viewing one partner (the mother) as the boss, and the other (the father) as an employee. It’s true: This is not an ideal scenario. But it’s what happens when one partner is reluctant, or actively refuses, to perform equal labor in the home.