A Thousand Letters (The Austens #2)

by Staci Hart

"For in that sleep of death what dreams may come / When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, / Must give us pause. Goodbye, my friend, my father."

"We'll survive today," I said, cupping Sadie's cheek, trying to convince myself just as much as them. "Today, this will be hard, to share our grief with everyone. But we will survive, and we'll survive whatever comes next."

Rick was gone, and he'd never come back. Wade was back, but he may as well have been gone. He took liberties, doing what he liked, taking what he liked when he liked it, rejecting me over and over again in between, and I let him. I was a slave to my hope. But I couldn't hang on any longer. I watched as it slipped through my fingers, fading to a pinpoint of light.

She didn't want me, didn't even want to be near me. I'd broken her, just as I feared, and now … now …

"Elliot, you didn't run out of a funeral. You were there for me all day. You have been the strength we've needed to help us through it, even Wade. In fact, you were the only person who thought to chase him out and make sure he was all right, even though he's been cruel to you. I don't care what he said to you or why you feel like this is your fault, but it isn't. It was his choice to behave the way he has. He acts like this isn't

hard for all of us."

"I think it's best if I don't come to the internment tomorrow." Her brow bent, the hurt on her face in every plane and angle. "What?" "Sophie, Wade needs to be there, and he needs to be there without me." "But … Elliot, Dad loved you. He would want you there."

"I know, but Wade needs to be there. Don't you see? It's easier if I'm not there. He can have that final moment … it's his father. I've said goodbye, Sophie. I don't need to be there for this, not like the three of you do."

I folded my arms. There was nothing to say except, "You're right." "And Elliot … Elliot seems to think this is in part because of her. Please. Please tell me she's wrong."

I watched her for a moment. "I can't. She's part of it. Not all of it, but she's part of it." The truth burned my throat as it left me. She looked back at the fire, her lips flat as she shook her head. "Unbelievable," she muttered. "You asked me a question, and I gave you an honest answer. Don't diminish my pain."

Do you think it was easy for Elliot? Do you think she's just been fine with you here? But she showed up. She did what she had to do just like the rest of us, everyone but you. You ran away and left us all here to handle this without our biggest support, without the strongest of us. Or I thought you were. Guess I was wrong." She took another drink.

He shook his head. "Why didn't you come with me? Why didn't you leave your family? If you had only come with me, everything would have been okay."

"He left just as quickly as he appeared. After the funeral I think … he thinks I'm with Jack. He's confused and scared. Angry. When he was here this afternoon—"

"I can't believe Wade would do this," she spat. "I can't believe he'd come here, sleep with you, leave you, treat you the way he has. It's not fair, Elliot."

"I told you what would happen, Mary," Jack bit, something in his tone dark, with an edge that sent goosebumps sprinting up my arms. "But Elliot? For fuck's sake. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. You and her. As if she could ever have a real chance with you."

"It's not ridiculous. She looks a lot like you, you know. But smaller, softer. Those big, brown eyes that just want to give you everything you

ask for." He sounded like a snake when he spoke. I slowly realized that's what he was after all, and I was just a mouse he thought he'd caught. "Don't do that," she said, her voice hard and biting. "Don't you do that, make it sound like you were interested in her. You only did this because of me, to get me back. To piss me off." "It worked, didn't it?" She made an infuriated noise. "I fucking hate you."

"No, you don't. You love me, and I'm through waiting." He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer, cajoling her, persuading her. "Just leave Charlie. That's all you have to do. Come with me and all of this will be over. You won't have to deal with Elliot or the kids or anything you don't want to. I'll take care of you, you know that. Ple...

She sighed. "I love you too. I just … I wish it were easier." "It's never gonna get easier, babe. And we've waited long enough to be together. No more sneaking aro...

me. "And you. How could you do this to Charlie, to your best friend? To Mary, even, who you say you love? How could you? You used me to hurt her, but I'm not a weapon or a tool to be used by you or anyone." "I'm sorry," he said, looking not at all sorry, "but I only did what I had to do to get her back."

be blackmailed by her." "You're going to tell him anyway. Why not make it tonight?" "She won't do it," she said, looking at me, but talking about me like I wasn't there. "She doesn't have the guts. Sweet little Elliot, the doormat." "Try me."

"Jack, wait! I want to tell him … I'll tell him, just not—" He brushed past me. "No, you don't. You won't. I should have known," he said to himself as she chased him down the hallway toward the door. "It's really too bad you couldn't be more like Elliot. She would give anything for the people she loves. You can't even give yourself to me, not in the way that matters."

"And you come back here, treat her like a pariah, and then go over there and take advantage of her?" She shook her head. "I don't even know who you are anymore."

They'd never cared for me, my family, and I'd sacrificed so much for them. My self, my future. Wade. My sister's betrayal and my loyalty to Charlie and myself fueled me, and I put on my coat and hat and scarf like I was going into war, not knowing who I'd be when I returned.

Sophie sniffled, and Elliot leaned in to hold her. "There is no length to love; it's infinite. It lives in you always. Hold on to it." "But it hurts," she sobbed. "That's how you know it was real."