A Thousand Letters (The Austens #2)

by Staci Hart

The last time I saw him, I was seventeen, and he stood before me with tears in his eyes as he begged me to say yes. Begged me to go with him. Begged me to be his forever. Begged me to change my mind. But I couldn't. Didn't matter how much I wanted to, because I did. I would have given him the world. But in the end, it hadn't been up to me.

For every breath And every beat of my heart Carries me farther away From you. -M. White

"Don't cry." He reached for my face, and I leaned forward for him to cup my cheek. "I can't help it. What will we do without you?" And to that, he only had one answer, and he gave it to me with strength his body no longer possessed, but his soul always would. "Live."

That didn't mean I wasn't scared. Because anything could happen in that year. He could meet someone else. He could change his mind. Or the unthinkable could happen: he might not make it home from the war.

"Then I guess we say goodbye."

I had no idea what waited for me there. In the back of my mind, I think I believed that when I finished my first tour, I'd go home and we'd find a way back to each other. A little bit of time was what we needed. Stupid and young, that was what I was, so angry and betrayed at first that I couldn't see past the feeling. But when I did, I found regret. I'd been wrong, so wrong, and I hated myself for giving her an ultimatum, for pushing her away. I'd lost her because of my fear. I could have had it all, if I'd only been more brave. If I'd only given her what she'd asked for.

And now, he was back. He was home. And he didn't want to see me, didn't want me there. It was clear in every muscle in his body, every molecule in the air between us — it only telegraphed anger and betrayal, even after all this time.

"Why did you follow me?" I asked with my eyes on the water. "I thought you could use a friend."

"Maybe I'll be brave enough someday." "You are brave. You're one of the bravest people I've ever known."