Confess

by Rob Halford

‘Thank you so much for coming,’ said the Queen. ‘Isn’t it strange that we have no music playing, when it’s a music event?’ ‘Yeah, that would’ve been nice!’ I said, trying not to sound too yam-yam. ‘I should have had a string quartet in the background,’ mused Her Majesty. ‘And what do you do?’ Before I could answer, Cilla chimed in: ‘He’s in this band called Judas Priest! He’s come all the way from Finland to be here!’ ‘Oh,’ said the Queen. ‘And what kind of music do you play?’ ‘Heavy metal, your Majesty,’ I said. The Queen gave me a slightly pained look. ‘Oh, heavy metal,’ she said. ‘Why does it have to be so loud?’ Woah! The Queen just said the words ‘heavy metal’! Possibly for the first time in her life! But . . . how do I answer THAT question? ‘It’s so we can bang our heads, Your Majesty!’ I told her. Cilla gave me another dig in the ribs. The Queen smiled, regally. ‘It’s been very nice to meet you,’ she pronounced. As she turned to leave, I instinctively stuck my hand out towards her again. And got yet another jab in the ribs from Cilla. ‘You don’t shake the Queen’s hand!’ she scolded me, as our monarch walked slowly away. ‘Nobody told me!’ I said. ‘I dunno anything about etiquette!’ ‘Oh, I can’t take you anywhere!’ sighed Cilla Black. On my flight back to the Arctic Circle, I replayed the scene, and the encounter, in my head a million times. Had it really just happened? It was a day I will never forget. The day I met the Queen. And it had been even better than Walsall...