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I had always wondered what it must be like to find that kind of love. The type that brought on those secret smiles, insight of your loved one’s quirks, or the way their stories were always told in parts with the other filling in the gaps.
I would just lose myself in the smells and sounds of the forest, sitting there for hours, knowing it was the one place on earth I could truly be alone… somewhere not even my curse could find me. I tried to shake off the darker thoughts and focus back on the reasons I had come here.
....curse?!
The beast came alive around us, sounding like a hundred thousand warriors charging into battle.
Its a car....like why did we need this dialog? "He started his car" end of sentence we know how cars sound.
Oh my god! What did I just say? Where did that come from? And more importantly how was I ever going to take it back? I looked out of the window and once again was nearly pulling all the skin off my bottom lip. I was now wishing more than ever that this was a dream. What must he be thinking? The man had just carried me God knows how far and was driving me home in this awesome machine, and that's what I decided to say! What an idiot… IDIOT!
Cut this whole section out. Its pointless dialog and ive skipped almost whole chapters because if this exact thing. I shouldn't have to skip pages for next point of dialog. Also...can we get Dravens POV? or really ANYONE ELSE'S!!! Keira is a boring ass MC.
When I didn't respond he looked at my face for the reason why. I must have looked like a spoilt child because I just folded my arms and looked out of the window. I mean, what did he want me to say, ‘Yes, Mr Draven, I am a freak!’
Maybe its because you are a boring character who stutters and falls in a moments notice? Its like you have never had a conversation with anyone before in your whole life. Like get it TOGETHER!
“Would it?” I asked under my breath, so he wouldn't hear. “Definitely,” he said over his shoulder, as he had turned to face Libby, who had now joined us. How had he heard me? I was pretty sure I had only mouthed the words more than actually saying them.
Maybe try inner monologue next time. Dont want to be heard? Dont speak..???? This girl gets on my nerves!
“It was no trouble, but I would get her to a doctor tomorrow as she might need an X-ray,” he said as though they were a parent and teacher talking about me as if I was a bloody child.
You are a child. You behave like one constantly. Id assume you were 12.
But going cold turkey wasn't exactly working for me either. Even his name brought goosebumps to my skin. After that night of being so close to him, I couldn't think of anything else. I replayed the scene over and over like a favourite movie.
Get. OVER. IT!!! Youve spoken to him MAYBE twice. I get it that she is like...his dated mate kinda thing but all I'm getting is preteen girl vibes.
