It makes me think that there will never be a time when women or lesbians are real—when we call them by name, use the right words to recognize them/ourselves. It’s analogous to the concept of coming out, for the oft-cited reason that you never stop coming out as a queer person; every time you meet someone new you must find a way to broach the topic or risk closeting yourself. But also because I don’t feel like I was ever actually in. I feel more like, growing up in a conservative, reticent community, I just didn’t know—for lack of example and lack of vocabulary—what I was, what I could be, that
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