Credence

by Penelope Douglas

They’re dead, and I haven’t cried. I’m just more worried about tomorrow and handling everything.

That's a trauma response, my love. It's okay

“I had soft hands and a head full of shit I didn’t know what to do with. I was barely alive.”

I feel that

All the religious nutcases on Twitter are presently condemning my parents as sinners for taking their own lives, and I couldn’t look at it.

Sinners my ass. Your dad was suffering. If dealing with suffering in a permanent way is a sin, why does God make us suffer?

I don’t know this guy, and I don’t like the people I do know.

Real. I don't like the people I know, either.

He says it as if labels and luxury negate any substance.

Honestly? They do. Living with labels doesn't make you more important than someone who lives with off brand belongings.

On reflex, I reach for my headphones around my neck.

Me too. Me and music are two peas in a pod

Swedish Fish are filled with corn syrup, food dyes, and additives, my mother once said.

Ah, we love a woman instilling an eating disorder into her child at a young and vulnerable age

I don’t like being around people I don’t know. I don’t like being around people.

I feel that spiritually

“Relax,” he tells me. “Not everything with a penis is a threat.”

Lies and slander

“If you had been dancing with a man like that in public, I would’ve taken you over my knee.”

PUSSY YOU WON'T. PROVE IT

“It was either that or ‘Diva,’” he says.

WHO IS THIS DIVA

“Why do I care about pleasing you? I don’t want to please you.”

Because you have a wonderful thing called a praise kink!

credence

SHE SAID THE TITLE

I see you.

Avatar reference?!?!?!

They’re such deep sleepers, they don’t hear you at night. Just me. When I touched your face, you quieted. When I tried to leave, the nightmare started again. So I stayed. I come in every night. You tuck your cold feet between my legs, and I hug you to me, resting my hand on your back and feeling your body calm as it nestles into me. Do I make you feel safe? I like taking care of you.

That's weird but also very cute???

Let’s not be friends. Let’s fight and laugh and make babies someday and go insane, because I’m fucking in love with you.

WHAT IS HAPPENING

Credence. I’m close enough to read it now. It means “belief as to the truth of something.”

OMG SHE SAID THE TITLE

I refold the paper and hand it back to him. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I tell him just above a whisper. “You actually left Colorado.” “It was time,” he says. I suck in a breath, his words hitting me like a truck. What? I slide off the tire and turn to face him, not believing what I just heard. Deep but soft. Clear and strong. He spoke. Kaleb spoke. Walking around the tire, he steps toward me. “My home is where you are,” he says quietly.

Awwww