The basic idea is that each exchange of verbal dialogue has four levels: 1) What we mean to say. You know, the actual idea you are trying to express. 2) What we actually say. If you are really good at saying only exactly what you mean at all times, I hope you write a book on your technique. For us regular humans, what we have in our minds and what comes out of our mouths is not always a solid match. 3) What the other person hears. Just because you said it doesn’t mean they heard it without any filter. 4) What the other person thinks you mean. Even if you said “anything for dinner is fine” and
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