Warrior Blue

by Kelsey Kingsley

"The great ones never get anywhere living on modesty,"

I was born beautiful. Perfect pink toes, Perfect blue eyes. Perfection has a heavy cost, And I paid the price.

A butterfly, but in reverse.

You don't need to carry the world on your shoulders like you owe it something.

"No, I got that. But at what point did you decide you were going to punish yourself for as long as you live?"

"But what better reason is there?"

"Messy can still be beautiful."

They say it's a miracle, He's even alive. But what kind of god, Shuns one of his own? What kind of father, Leaves his child alone?

But I never let Freddy stop me from enjoying my life, Blake, because he is my life. So, I include him in it when I can, and I let him make my life better when it’s hard.”

God entrusted me to care for Freddy, and He entrusted you to care for Jake.”

Don’t be scared, To let pain drown, Just always remember, To write it down. And one day, When that pain is done, Open this book, To see how far you’ve come.

But God doesn’t always package the best ones in what we’d expect. That’s what makes them harder to find. And more worth the wait.”

“But it’s not too late, Blake. It’s never too late, as long as you’re still able to fight. And Jake is worth fighting for.”

and I laid a hand over my eyes to catch the dripping pieces of my broken heart.

“Take the good news and let yourself feel happy about it before you shoot it down.”

but it never hurt to be just a little hopeful.”

“What happened? Did He answer?” Dr. Travetti nodded as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “I actually, um … I actually believe He sent me you.”

“Blake, about praying …” “Yeah?” “Maybe He listens most when you get angry.” I nodded and smirked as I said, “Well, I got plenty of anger to spare.” “Oh, I know,” she offered me a smile. “Put it to good use.”

“You were the better twin to save Jake, and I was the better twin to save you.”

😭💙

“You giveth, and you taketh away.”

“You and Dad were so consumed by what you lost, that you never for a second took the time to look at what you still had.

I knew that meeting him meant something.

In the beginning, we are born in our purest form. We then become ourselves during the stage between caterpillar to butterfly, so colorful and full of beautiful possibility, and we believe, with the blindest of hope, that we’ll be perfect forever. That time is endless. That there is a multitude of chances, of opportunities. Until one day, the reality of mortality settles in deep and dark, and we suddenly become aware of how limited we are. It is all so black and white. There is no grey. We live and we die, and there’s nothing more to it than that. But God, isn’t it still so beautiful?

all I could think was, he’d be so freakin’ perfect for Audrey.”

A dying girl who wanted a tattoo of a butterfly.

“Well, it was a bumpy road,” I laughed bitterly. While clutching the book in her hands, she leaned in, kissed my lips, and whispered, “The ones worth taking usually are.”