Cursed Fates (Zodiac Academy, #5)

by Caroline Peckham

But chances weren’t made by the stars alone. I needed to make my own opportunities, so I had to start finding cracks in my prison’s walls.

He was a plague on this world, and I despised every drop of his blood that ran in my veins.

Maybe he’d never end this suffering. Because monsters need prey to feast on, and without me he’d starve.

“Mmm, well I was never not talking to you. I was just trying to be considerate of Darius’s feelings,”

Okay Caleb you’re getting better now

I thought back on the lesson we’d had on star bonds and had to wonder if he was my Nebula Ally.

Are you stupid? He literally told you that your first ever flying lesson

“Well, it’s time the stars gave me something good for once,” I said. “Rather than just fucking me over all the damn time.”

Am I the one that’s stupid?? You fucked yourself over?

It just depends on how pig-headed you are and with your track record…”

Thank fuck someone is calling her out

“So what? You’re saying that if I’d been reasonable too, talked to Darius instead of freaking out over the idea of him hurting me again then this whole thing might have turned out differently?”

Yes you absolute moron

“He was falling in love with you, and you ripped his heart out,” Gabriel said quietly. “There is no greater pain in this world than that. Believe me. I know. I’ve lived it.” “So am I supposed to feel guilty now?” I demanded. “Responsible? After everything? All of it? He never said that to me. Never told me-” “He told you. You just didn’t want to hear it,” Gabriel interrupted.

Wasn’t it bad enough that I had to live with this shit for the rest of my life? Did I really have to turn it all over and over? Couldn’t he just leave me to blame Darius for all of this and at least take comfort in my own innocence? I didn’t need him piling blame onto me too. And I really didn’t need to be thinking that he might just have a fucking point.

You are to blame as well and fuck you for hurting everyone around you and throwing your hands up and saying “oh no it’s not MY fault”

I thought back all the way to the beginning. To the first time I’d laid eyes on Darius Acrux, and tried to figure out all the places it had gone wrong and how much of it was really on me.

A lot of it was you - like probably an even 50/50 split

For a moment, I really hoped she was. I hoped she was there with her heart shrivelling and tears burning her eyes in payment for the shit she had cursed the two of them with.

Literally same here!

“You mean…that for no reason other than the pursuit of true and honest love, you wish to fix what cannot be fixed and defy the stars themselves?” she breathed, her eyes widening as she looked at me in a way that I couldn’t quite describe. It was like, she was seeing something in me that she hadn’t thought was there before and I kinda liked the way her deep blue eyes were shining.

I tried to stoke the flames of her lust even more with my gifts, but her mental walls remained as impenetrable as ever and I actually found I liked that. She wasn’t turned on by what I was, she didn’t want to feel the pleasure one of the most powerful Sirens in Solaria could push into her body. She didn’t even want to try and capture me for my position as Heir. No, everything she gave me and everything she took was about nothing more than me and her. And there was a profound kind of purity in it that made me want to drown in that feeling forever.

“Elysian Mate bonds are the most rare of all the bonds. A bond from the stars is a gift indeed. To refute that gift…well, to refute it would be insanity.”

Were me and Orion destined to ever be mated somehow? I certainly couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. But I didn’t need the sun, the moon, or the stars to tell me that.

I tried not to bat my lashes too hard at Orion, but holy hell when he used that voice and blew that whistle and looked…mmm.

Orion reached out to my busted lip, healing it quickly and wiping the blood away with his thumb. He placed it straight in his mouth, casually sweeping a hand through his hair at the same time like that was a perfectly normal thing to do. And I guessed he could get away with it as a Vampire. It was also weirdly hot as hell.

my heart swelled as I met Orion’s gaze, his eyes brimming with pride. I loved him fiercely in that moment. Truly. Madly. Always.

And one day in the future, we were going to face them one on one in a bid for our rightful place on the Solarian throne. It was written in the stars.

Not that I appreciated anything about the way he looked. But if I had, I’d have to admit he looked good enough to lick.

“Well, that’s handy, seeing as we’ll never be touching each other again.”

Way to ruin the good vibes

I might not have had the words, but he’d come here, come so close that maybe I needed to be the one to make up the difference.

The thought that she was temporary made me afraid. Because who I’d been before didn’t come close to deserving her. And at least now I was trying to be better. To be enough. But sometimes, the shadows called to me in the dark, whispering my sins, my failures. And maybe deep down, I was never going to feel worthy of her.

“Tonight, we are here to celebrate the return of a long-lost family member, Clara Orion. After she went missing years ago, we have never stopped worrying about her and I am nearly brought to tears to announce that she has finally come home.” He looked about as close to crying as I was to shitting my pants.

“I hate the days I don’t get to wake up with you,”

“One day soon, I’m going to shrink you down into a pixie-sized Fae and put you in a jar that I can keep in my pocket.”

Someone could brainwash me into believing I was a cat, and I might go around sleeping in the sun and licking my own ass. But I wouldn’t be a cat. I’d just be a crazy girl with some embarrassing hobbies.

I hated to admit that ever since Gabriel had called me out on my shit, I’d been thinking about my part in all of this too.

Finally 😭

“Of course. You’re dismissed, Jenkins,” she said, and the butler backed out of the room, narrowing his beady little eyes suspiciously. I was pretty sure I was going to keep thinking of him as Buttkins.

Because I didn’t have a right to be hurting over it, did I? It had been my choice that put us in this position after all.

And for the first time that I would admit to myself, I had to wonder if I’d made a terrible mistake when I said no.

“Hello. Hi. What’s crack-a-lackin’?”

“You don’t have to look out for me.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll always look out for you,” Darius said with a shrug.

Lance: I forgot to buy dessert but luckily, I have a can of whipped cream and a voracious appetite for you. So, I won’t go hungry at least. Selfish fucker, aren’t I?

I changed Lance’s name on my Atlas to Starboy so if anyone ever did catch sight of one of my messages, they wouldn’t know who it was from. Not that I kept any of them for long. I also sang Starboy by The Weekend and Daft Punk in my head while I did it. Not that I knew ninety percent of the words. But I had the chorus down. Sort of.

“I’ve tried to convince him to do all kinds of gestures for her, but he’s not biting. In fact, he full on told me that oiling himself up and putting on a strip show with a rose clasped between his teeth was a stupid fucking idea. He even tossed my massage oil in the trash. And that shit was a new bottle.”

“The stars might have decided that you can never be mine,” Darius said roughly, refusing to move away from me. “But I am yours. No matter what. I don’t care where we end up or who we’re with, I’ll always be yours. And I’m going to fix the damage I did to us even if the stars don’t care. I’m going to prove to you that I could have been worthy of you if I’d just listened to my heart sooner.”

“If it changes the way you look at me then that’s enough,” he replied, his eyes full of pain as I took a step back.

There was no reason why I should care what my dad thought of her…I just kinda did.

I’d never asked a girl to cheer for me before and when she’d said yes, I’d had to fight hard not to grin my fucking head off and sweep her into my arms.

But either way, it broke me. Either way, she wasn’t really mine at all.

Maybe it was fate for her to be a Phoenix, the only creature immune to the worst of my power. Maybe the stars had always wanted me to be unable to hurt her.

I may have held darkness within my flesh, but I refused to be ruled by it ever again. I was my own man, and I was going to make my own choices. Which meant I’d never hurt her again.

I wished we could just build a bubble where the stars couldn’t see us and stay in it forever. Although I guessed if I offered her that she’d just say no again.

Roxy Vega might never be mine, but sometimes I found I didn’t mind pining for her as much as I should have.

I’d finally realised what they both loved. Violence. Dirty, mortal fist fights and blood being spilled in vengeance.

Yep, it’s official. I’m into my straight best friend. Thanks for the headfuck stars.

Maybe I should have just trusted her judgement because she clearly saw people’s hearts when she looked at them. Fuck, I love that girl.

I’d never had that all-consuming first love everyone talked about during my school years. I’d thought it wasn’t for me. But I guessed the stars had decided to keep me waiting a little longer. And now I had it, I was determined for this love to be my one and only. My last and everlasting.