On the Fourth of July weekend in 2016, I tried to kill myself. The Obama administration had just announced it was overturning the ban on trans soldiers in the military. The secret that had made life so difficult for me in the service wouldn’t have needed to be a secret if this had been the law before; what would my life have been like? Would I have had an official support system? Would I have felt so much pain about who I was? I did not want anyone to have to endure what I had—the policy change was a net gain. But I couldn’t help but be furious at the official confirmation of what I had long
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