Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up

by Alexandra Potter

‘You know, this isn’t quite how I imagined my life was going to turn out . . .’ He looks back to me. ‘Ever get that feeling?’

across and they just happen . . .

Or how about just living your life and loving your body any way you damn well want, and not having to prove anything to anyone?

You think you’re keeping the secret, but really it’s keeping you.’

if there’s one gift you can give yourself in life, it’s the freedom and courage to say “I don’t know”.

For so long I’ve been keeping this secret, but now I realize it’s been keeping me. Keeping me stuck. Keeping me from changing my narrative from one of fear and failure.

There’s lots to hate about social media, but there’s also lots to love.

you can grieve for someone and the past, but you’ve also got to live,’

you’re not fucking up if life hasn’t worked out how you expected. Because real life is messy and complicated. Shit happens. One size doesn’t fit all. Remove the filters and the hashtags and the motivational messages and we’re all just as scared and confused as the next person. We’re all just living our life, and it might not tick all the boxes or look Insta-perfect, but that’s OK.

Where there’s life, there’s hope.

but then I realized she needed to worry about that stuff. It was her way of coping.

‘Because whatever happens, it will be OK. You’ll be OK.’

He’s so familiar. Yet it’s like looking at a stranger.

This life, which looks nothing like I expected.

‘It fucking sucks,’

Because that’s the truth. Because she needs her grief to be acknowledged. And because as a friend that’s all I can hope to do. ‘It fucking sucks,’ she nods.

‘It’s true what they say: life does go on and joy does return, and often it’s in the most unexpected of places,’ she continues, ‘but you never get over losing someone; you just get better at coping with it.’

You never own a book; you just get to look after it until you pass it on to the next person.

‘we’re really boring.’

I think that’s where so many of us go wrong. To make the mistake of thinking a relationship that’s easy is boring. That the ones with drama are exciting. When in fact, it’s the other way around.

it’s OK not to know the answer.

I’ve realized that I’m not alone, I still don’t have a clue what I’m doing, and guess what? Nobody else does either.

This feeling of strength and calm that comes from realizing you’re never really going to know what the hell you’re doing but it’s never too late to start over. Because it’s only when you are ready to surrender the life you thought you were going to live that you finally get the life you were always meant to live.