I check my packing again and eat breakfast; hot sweet tea with oat milk and four sugars and six rounds of toast, margarine and jam. After breakfast, I reflexively open my last pack of bourbons and slowly feed them into my mouth until they are all gone. I assure myself that this isn’t compulsive eating, the deadline of when I have to stop eating and drinking before the surgery is looming and I want to make sure I’m not going to go hungry. Plus, I’ve done well on my diet recently, so I’ve earned a bit of a treat to calm my nerves.
