Before and After (Before and After, #1)

by Andrew Shanahan

By the middle of the third day I welcome death, but death is busy elsewhere.

“You are my son, you always were I think, even before you were born. You’ll be my son even after I’ve gone, and as your mum I know you better than anyone. You’re special. You’re going to do something amazing in your life and even if you don’t take the same path as everyone else to get there, maybe God has a reason for that. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why you’ll be able to do these special things. But in the meantime, you’ll get people saying you’re doing things wrong. They’ll sit in their Eiffel Towers and assume they’re right and you’re wrong. I want you to know that as long as you’re following your own choices, I will always be on your side.”

This world is broken, but it doesn’t mean that I must be broken too. I have a chance to be better.

“Ben, I don’t mind if you really, really want to live with your dad. I’d miss you more than anything. But what I won’t let you do is leave thinking that I don’t love you, or that I want anything other than the life that I’ve got. You make me so happy and so proud. Every day.”