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I say, “I’ll put on my brand-new light blue golf shorts and I’ll be right over!” This was my (verbatim, unedited) text exchange with my friend John Solomon after I completed that golf round: ME: Just shit my pants on a golf course so we good JOHN: Please tell me that’s real ME: So real JOHN: Fuck yes Might be my fav thing about u ME: The details are pretty great And upsetting JOHN: Give me one ME: This sounds like it would defy physics but I shit the front of my pants
