A Very Punchable Face

by Colin Jost

He’s the perfect foil for me, because I’m terrible at saying no and I’m constantly worried about disappointing people. It’s almost like I’m controlled by a crippling guilt or something. COULD THIS AGAIN RELATE TO MY CATHOLICISM? WHO KNOWS FOR SURE!

I’m always trying, and mostly failing, to drink less. I’ll go a few days or even a week without drinking at all and I’ll think, AHHHHHHHHH, THIS IS BORING AND DRINKING IS FUN!!! My doctor calls this “a bad sign.”