Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy

by Aundi Kolber

Friend, I hear you. But consider this: While hard work is valuable and necessary, there is a difference between pushing ourselves well and hurting ourselves by perpetuating harmful patterns.

But in all I’ve learned as a therapist, and in all I’ve experienced as a human in this world—often the hard way—I believe the true work is slow and deep. That’s how we’ll truly heal.

And yet these unconscious responses to threat (fight/flight/fawn or freeze) are meant only to be temporary. They are meant to get us through danger. They are meant to protect our souls and essence. Let’s be absolutely clear: There is no shame in surviving. But merely surviving is a far cry from living fully alive, and that, dear reader, is our ultimate goal with trying softer.