The Upside of Falling

by Alex Light

“Star-crossed lovers are two people whose love is doomed,” I read aloud. “There are so many forces working against them that not even the stars can keep them together.”

Love is temporary. It’s not some magical cure. That’s what Shakespeare was trying to show. That’s why they died, because they were naïve enough to think their love could end a war.”

“Love. It’s easy to ridicule it when you’ve never felt it.”

“When in doubt, list it out” was my go-to motto. At least in my head.

“I’m guessing you want to be the prince?” “Only if you’re the princess.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve read all the Harry Potters.” She did not look impressed. At all. “That doesn’t count. Everyone’s read Harry Potter. It’s practically a childhood rite of passage.” She had a point.

harry potter reference<33

“What you need is to distract yourself,” she continued, picking up her book. “Reading helps me. It’s like I’m in another world when I read. And all the problems in my life don’t exist anymore. It helps.”

People leave, Brett. It’s not our fault for not giving them a reason to stay. It’s their fault for not finding one.

“I can’t believe I have a crush on a girl with such horrible ice cream taste.”

“Well, technically that’s the point of atoms. They build stuff, keep everything together.” I looked up. He was giving me a look. I used the opportunity to slam the puck into his goal. “What? I’m in AP Bio.”

girl u aint special i learned that in middle school

Maybe it was time to undo the locks and open all the windows. Maybe falling in love didn’t mean you were doomed and the future couldn’t be determined by the past. Maybe I had to stop living my life through books and it was time to rip off all the caution tape and see what happened when I let myself feel. Or when I let myself fall. And I wanted to feel everything with Brett.

That was the thing with blood; it stained. Whether it was there for a second or a minute, you couldn’t get rid of it. It soaked itself into the fabric so deeply that it became a part of it.

Life didn’t have to fit into a four-sided box that was neat and tidy. It was okay if the box had three sides or the fourth one was hanging on with duct tape. It was okay if the corners were dented and if there was a big red FRAGILE sticker on top. It was all okay.

“I used to categorize my days,” I told him. “Some were worth remembering and some I wanted to forget.” “Which one is today?” he asked. I didn’t even have to think about it. “One to remember.”

“I don’t think I even realized it until just now. But I do love you, Brett, because you make me feel safe. You make me feel hopeful. I never thought I’d love anyone. And with all the downsides of love, you managed to show me the upside,” I whispered, holding his cheek in my palm, his heart in my hand.

“Look, an image is there in front of you. Right? You stare at it but then you can look away and it’s gone,” she said. “Words aren’t like that. They build an entire world around you. It’s not something you look at, it’s something you’re inside. That makes it scarier.”

“It feels like the world is going to explode when I kiss you,” I whispered. “Then let it explode,” she said. I tugged her face back to mine and did just that.

“Because you go somewhere else when you read. I want to go there with you.”