The Upside of Falling

by Alex Light

It was like, if love couldn’t exist in reality, at least it was alive in fiction. Between the pages it was safe. The heartbreak was contained. There was no aftermath, no shock waves.

His shoulders shook as he laughed. Brett had this contagious laugh. It was loud and booming and demanded attention. Kind of like him.

I remembered her voice in the darkness last night, reading to me. I needed that again right now. That small sense of peace. That certainty.

People leave, Brett. It’s not our fault for not giving them a reason to stay. It’s their fault for not finding one.

“You’re the best girlfriend I never had, Becca Hart.”

A few seconds later he mumbled, “I can’t believe I have a crush on a girl with such horrible ice cream taste.”

“Oh, Becca. I love it when you get all geeky.”

Brett put his arm around my shoulder. “You’re kind of amazing, Becca Hart,” he said. I started to laugh before I saw the serious look on his face. No teasing this time, no poking fun. He really meant that.

We were leaning against the railing, staring out into the darkness. Brett’s eyes shifted to me, then down to my toes. “I like your dress,” he said. His fingers reached out, touching my ironed curls. “And I like your hair when it’s like this.” Then he grabbed my hand, pulling me against his chest. “And I like us like this. Without the pretending.”

“Then let me show you that I can be the one who stays.”

“That’s impossible, Becca. I started feeling like this way before tonight. And I promise you I’ll feel this way tomorrow too, and the days after that.”

I leaned my head into his chest. “Don’t break my heart. Okay?” His hand tilted up my chin until our eyes met. He was all shadows and moonlight. “I won’t,” he said.

“And what I realized,” Brett continued, “is that nothing I felt toward you was tainted or confusing, Becca. In fact, you’re the only clear part of my life right now.”

Brett was watching me as if I were the sun his world revolved around, and I couldn’t quite fathom how I’d ended up here. How, on a planet with billions of people whose lives would never cross, I managed to capture the heart of the most beautiful one.

“It feels like the world is going to explode when I kiss you,” I whispered. “Then let it explode,” she said.

“Because you go somewhere else when you read. I want to go there with you.”