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Kindle Notes & Highlights
Can you imagine a woman who is unafraid of her body? A woman who is physically strong; who does not wear clothes like a shield; who accepts, loves and takes care of her body for herself; who befriends her body rather than criticizes, cuts and judges her body, and appreciates her body without shame, guilt or apology? This must be the new normal for women of the twenty-first century.
Education does not shred the moral belief that keeping quiet is good and speaking up is bad.
Women who argue are called loud, crazy, nags, nasty, scolds, shrill or hysterical. Men who argue are called leaders!
Men systematically overestimate their abilities and what they know and women underestimate their knowledge and abilities. Research also indicates that to succeed confidence matters more than competence and that women are more afraid of failure.
Don’t be Chup. Speak up. Again and again.
‘Women smile to please. Men smile when pleased.’
Over-smiling crosses the boundary from the innocuous pleasing of a good girl to a bad girl with a loose character, because it signals that a girl exists.
The most common phrase well-adjusted women use when asked what they want is kuch bhi , anything, or I don’t mind.
A guy who is dating will find a girl who is career-oriented and independent attractive . . . but when he looks for a wife . . . he asks, can you cook? Can you wash clothes? Can you manage a child’s potty? So respect goes out and responsibility comes in.’
Studies show that confidence matters more than competence in influencing and selling ideas to others.
A strong woman is unapologetic about her choices, yet she has the wisdom to know when she has wronged someone and the humility to say ‘I am sorry’ without making ‘sorry’ her life mantra.
Listening deeply is not agreement. It is just listening deeply.
When you trust, you feel safe; the world is safe. Without trust, the world could not function. We would drown in rules. Trust makes exchange and trade possible – it makes collective action possible. Women who are trained in childhood not to trust others are therefore at a great disadvantage.
Women help women cope but not to resist or change the system.
A good woman is duty minus desire.
Women who earn money are good as long as they do not change in any other way. They should continue to live and work under the cultural tyranny of the garam phulka , hot roti, made by them every night.
The autonomous, independent individual is a myth. In the USA and in India. The utopian community in which everyone is equal and happy is equally a myth. ‘I’ and ‘We’ are two ends of a continuum and India must shift a little from the ‘We’ end of the continuum towards the ‘I’ end.
Research again in the USA shows that by age six, girls conclude that they are not as brilliant as boys even though they agree that girls get better grades. And parents google the question ‘Is my son a genius?’ more than twice as often as they google ‘Is my daughter a genius?’ How do we change this?
Sports awaken power in the self .
