What does the hurt party need to hear? People who appear to be holding on to anger or bitterness frequently did not experience a clear, direct, heartfelt validation soon after an earlier betrayal or act of neglect occurred. The child, or adult, may have been told that the bad thing was not really happening, that his feelings and perceptions were wrong, out of proportion, or crazy—or that what happened was necessary, even his fault, his choice, and something he brought on by his own difficult behavior.
