But my mother left Bob when he didn’t treat her right. She almost lost her life for it. The deadliest time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she decides to leave. Still, despite almost being killed, when things got to be too terrible with my father, she left him, too. From where I sit, my mama made the right choice to leave every time it became clear that her man wasn’t going to treat her right. The abuse had nothing to do with her choices and everything to do with the ways we don’t demand that men stop being violent.
