But if you are Black and hope to live to adulthood, micromanaging your feelings is necessary for survival. Your feelings can’t go on strike in the workplace. You can’t karate chop every white retail service person who follows you around a store, is rude to you on the phone, or takes their good sweet time bringing your food to the table. You also can’t karate chop the well-meaning white friend who moves to reassure you that “it wasn’t racial. Clearly they’re just jerks.”
