All Our Wrong Todays

by Elan Mastai

That’s what you believe in. According to Greta, your belief system is how you actually spend your time every day. She doesn’t mean that to be judgmental. She wants people to be more self-aware. Fundamentally, she believes in action. If you believe in a bunch of stuff but never act on those beliefs, they don’t matter. She wants people to better know themselves so they can better be themselves.

So he did what you do when you’re heartbroken and have a time machine—something stupid.

People talk about grief as emptiness, but it’s not empty. It’s full. Heavy. Not an absence to fill. A weight to pull.

I’ve mentioned this notion before, but where I come from it was otherwise attributed. Maybe no idea is ever lost. Maybe it just waits somewhere in the swirl for somebody else to think it.

This was messy and loud, sweat and blood and tears and a whole new life with its eyes, your eyes that already looked like her eyes, squeezed shut, and its mouth, your mouth that already looked like my mouth, wide open, and Penny squeezing my hand and looking at me and me squeezing her hand and looking at her and both of us knowing it was finally starting. The world we were supposed to have. It was you. All along, it was you.