The Way of the Monk: The four steps to peace, purpose and lasting happiness

by Gaur Gopal Das

Monk Mindset: Forgiveness is a deep and often obscure value to understand. The principles we should know about forgiveness are: Look beyond the situation: If we are hurt by someone’s words, try to understand why they spoke them. When people act harshly towards us, most of the time they are suffering too. This is empathy. Separate the episode from the person: Rather than being affected by the emotion of guilt by saying, ‘I am wrong,’ or anger by saying, ‘You are wrong,’ we should separate the I or the You and deal with the wrong. Higher purpose: Can we forgive based on a higher principle? For example, in my story, the husband forgave the wife because he loved her, and they had a duty to their community and son. If chosen, this approach takes support and time and is not something that happens overnight. Justice: On a personal level, we can forgive the person who may have wronged us, but on a societal level, there should be strict justice to create an orderly society. No one should be able to break the law and get away with it in the name of forgiveness.