It feels pretty close because it is to look back and try to reassure myself, “Now that it is over and it has happened, it is safe to finally feel the happiness you wanted to feel about it. Now you can feel happy because now your happiness will not get in the way, will not change the outcome, it cannot ruin it somehow in the way you think that happiness might, because it’s already happened. It’s locked away in the past. The memory has finally hardened into stone.”
