“I, Mica Petrov, take you, Charlie Watt, to be my wife and to live together in marriage.” I don’t want this, and you know that, and for that I am sorry. “I promise to love you, comfort you, honor, and keep you.” I will never love you, but I will comfort, honor, and keep you as mine. “For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I am rich and you are poor, but I will look after you. No matter what. “And forsaking all others, I will be faithful only to you.” I will never cheat on you, and I expect the same damn commitment of celibacy from you. “So long as we both
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