At the hearing, both Swedes had shown up to testify. I discovered that the night of the assault, they’d bolted him to the ground, and said: What the fuck are you doing? She’s unconscious. Do you think this is OK? What are you smiling about? Say sorry to her. I do not attribute surviving to willpower or optimism because none of this I had. It would take weeks to recover, depression would take over. But that October, the Swedes had introduced this new voice inside me. I had to teach myself to talk like them. To one day face my attacker and say, What the fuck are you doing.
