I am currently bald. I say currently because I am holding out for medical science. Yes, I have heard of Rogaine; no, I haven’t tried it. I don’t want my hair back. I want to take a pill and get John Legend’s hair. I know you’re thinking, Have I been sleeping on John Legend’s hair? Is it extraordinary? No. It is fine. It’s very nice hair. It looks good all the time without being showy about it. I’m not asking for a crown of glory; I just want a nice, unremarkable full head of hair that does its job competently and attractively like the third lead on a crime procedural. Is that too much for
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