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March 24 - April 13, 2024
“You talk like a noodle, my friend,”
PLEASE, that's so unserious
write with the left hand (that the writing may not be recognized) the denunciation we propose.” And Danglars, uniting practice with theory, wrote with his left hand, and in a writing reversed from his usual style, and totally unlike it,
because it looks like a toddler wrote it
i hate that i know what happens because i know it’s going to devastate me, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO is going to make me cry
I refuse to believe Danglars' left-handed toddler writing was "tolerably plain" and "well"
“You do? why, really, the thing becomes more and more dramatic—explain yourself.”
no one humbles you like your parents
that's some fucking beauty and the beast enchantress shit and it's fucking rude
As for himself, he declared that he had only need of a little rest, and that when they returned he should be easier.
Leave me here to die
He removed his seat into a corner of the room, where he himself would be in deep shadow, while the light would be fully thrown on the narrator; then, with head bent down and hands clasped,
That is so dramatic
“there was only a change of bridegrooms.”
"Fernand, whom she regarded as her brother" is the ickiest part of this
BRO
ok batman
“Albert does not say you are a liar, Signor Pastrini,” said Franz, “but that he will not believe what you are going to tell us,—but I will believe all you say; so proceed.”
Franz and Albert will be playing the two faces of Janus, I see
She then returned to her room, calling for help as loudly as she could, when suddenly her window, which was twenty feet from the ground, was opened, a young peasant jumped into the chamber, seized her in his arms, and with superhuman skill and strength conveyed her to the turf of the grass-plot, where she fainted.
ok batman (again)
“Oh, pray do, for heaven’s sake, tell us all about—is he a vampire, or a resuscitated corpse, or what?”
PLEASE just how pale is Edmond that this is what he’s compared to
“Half past one only,” said he. “Why the devil do you rouse me at this hour?”—“
Albert PLEASE this is serious
“He must be a vampire.”—“Laugh, if you will; the Countess G——, who knew Lord Ruthven, declared that the count was a vampire.”
the BEST running joke of the book
“Yes, your excellency; excuse me, but, as you will see, I only tell you what is absolutely necessary.
i don’t believe you
Again Danglars bit his lips; he saw that he was no match for Monte Cristo in an argument of this sort, and he therefore hastened to turn to subjects more congenial.
HAHA
“He was a merchant, monsieur, and had succeeded to the business of my poor father. M. Morrel, at his death,
finding out he’s dead makes me SAD
Ah, maternal love is a great virtue, a powerful motive—so powerful that it excuses a multitude of things,
CHRISSY WAKE UP I DONT LIKE THIS
“Good,” said he, as he went away; “this is a fruitful soil, and I feel certain that the seed sown will not be cast on barren ground.”
WHO DO YOU WANT HER TO KILL EDMOND 🫠
But this counsel effectually decided Mademoiselle Danglars never to commit herself by being seen in public with one destined for a theatrical life; and acting upon this principle, the banker’s daughter, though perfectly willing to allow Mademoiselle Louise d’Armilly (that was the name of the young virtuosa) to practise with her through the day, took especial care not to be seen in her company.
enter the lesbians
“So I should suppose by her dress; if you know no more than that, everyone here is as well-informed as yourself.”
I love you eugenie
is dumas seriously about to tell me danglars is participating in inside trading because i’ll lose my fucking mind
“The letter signed ‘Sinbad the Sailor,’ is it not?”
WELCOME BACK
Valentine is the only one who has any sense. Edmond has wormed his way into all of their lives in such a short time and it’s terrifying
That would spoil my plans.”
what plans edmond, you're scaring me
“I cannot help doubting,” answered Danglars with his stupid smile.
haha
“What is it?”—“I have spoken to you indiscreetly about Danglars.” “On the contrary, speak to me always in the same strain about him.”
lmao, everyone thinks Danglars is trash
Aw?” said Lord Wilmore, with that tone which is only known to natives of Great Britain.
the way Dumas is constantly dragging the English is just 🤌
“Why do you call me baron?” said Danglars; “you know that I care nothing for my title. I am not like you, viscount; you like your title, do you not?”—“Certainly,” replied Albert, “seeing that without my title I should be nothing; while you, sacrificing the baron, would still remain the millionaire.” “Which seems to me the finest title under the royalty of July,” replied Danglars.—“Unfortunately,” said Monte Cristo, “one’s title to a millionaire does not last for life, like that of baron, peer of France, or Academician; for example, the millionaires Franck & Poulmann, of Frankfurt, who have
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👀
“No,” he murmured, “none of my enemies would have waited so patiently and laboriously for so long a space of time, that they might now come and crush me with this secret.
bitch you thought
I will, then, wait until the last moment, and when my misery is certain, irremediable, hopeless, I will write a confidential letter to my brother-in-law, another to the prefect of police, to acquaint them with my intention, and at the corner of some wood, on the brink of some abyss, on the bank of some river, I will put an end to my existence, as certainly as I am the son of the most honest man who ever lived in France.”
this is so fucking dramatic max are you kidding me
Oh, see, Maximilian, see the power you have over me, you almost make me believe you; and yet, what you tell me is madness, for my father will curse me—he is inflexible—he will never pardon me. Now listen to me, Maximilian; if by artifice, by entreaty, by accident—in short, if by any means I can delay this marriage, will you wait?”
i have the most horrible sinking Romeo and Juliet feeling rn
Franz stopped. “February 5th, 1815!” said he; “it is the day my father was murdered.” Valentine and Villefort were dumb; the eye of the old man alone seemed to say clearly, “Go on.”—“But it was on leaving this club,” said he, “my father disappeared.” Noirtier’s eye continued to say, “Read.”
the way i fully forgot about this from the beginning
Villefort opened the door and escaped, for the idea had entered his mind to stifle the little remaining life in the heart of this terrible old man.
Villefort you absolute fucking coward. You sent Edmond Dantes to prison and KEPT HIM THERE for 14 years to keep your father safe (FOR KILLING SOMEONE) and now you want to KILL YOUR OWN FATHER because he helped YOUR OWN DAUGHTER escape a marriage she didn’t want. I HATE YOU.
Danglars was quite annoyed by the young man’s indifference.
Danglars is insufferable I love when he’s annoyed
And in justice to Villefort, it must be understood that M. Noirtier, who never cared for the opinion of his son on any subject,
and i love him for that
No,” said the count, “I was making a suit.” “How?” said Albert. “Those are really aces and twos which you see, but my shots have turned them into threes, fives, sevens, eights, nines, and tens.” Albert approached. In fact, the bullets had actually pierced the cards in the exact places which the painted signs would otherwise have occupied, the lines and distances being as regularly kept as if they had been ruled with pencil. “Diable,” said Morcerf.
truly the most dramatic man
M. de Villefort,” replied the doctor, with increased vehemence, “there are occasions when I dispense with all foolish human circumspection. If your daughter had committed only one crime, and I saw her meditating another, I would say ‘Warn her, punish her, let her pass the remainder of her life in a convent, weeping and praying.’ If she had committed two crimes, I would say, ‘Here, M. de Villefort, is a poison that the prisoner is not acquainted with,—one that has no known antidote, quick as thought, rapid as lightning, mortal as the thunderbolt; give her that poison, recommending her soul to
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what an odd thing to say doctor
The count’s first idea was that this was an artifice—a gross deception, to draw his attention from a minor danger in order to expose him to a greater.
considering how often he expect’s sinbad the sailor’s letters to be blindly obeyed, dantes is having a tough time with this one
“One!”
“Dear, excellent friend,” murmured Albert, still burning the papers.
Then,’ remarked the president, ‘the Count of Monte Cristo knows nothing of your present proceedings?’—‘He is quite unaware of them,
Then he raised his eyes towards the ceiling, but withdrew them, immediately, as if he feared the roof would open and reveal to his distressed view that second tribunal called heaven, and that other judge named God.
SCREAMING
“Contempt, my friend? How does this misfortune affect you? No, happily that unjust prejudice is forgotten which made the son responsible for the father’s actions.
“I will respect his age as he has respected the honor of my family; if my father had offended him, why did he not attack him personally?
Everybody Hates Danglars
“now only am I fully convinced of being the emissary of God!”
Monte Cristo was beginning to think, what he had not for a long time dared to believe, that there were two Mercédès in the world, and he might yet be happy.
you stop that, this is gross, dantes. you’ve called Haidee your daughter way too much to being doing this
“Oh, not the least in the world, madame! My wish was not to confine myself to domestic cares, or the caprices of any man,
Eugenie, my queen
