How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It (The Siege #2)

by K.J. Parker

There’s an immutable rule that only jerks and bastards can be really fine actors.

You go and see a manager, first thing he looks at is your feet. If you’ve been walking around a lot lately, you’re probably unemployable.

Act 2 is always a grind. With the exception of Acts 1 and 3, it’s the hardest part of your standard three-act play.

He gave me a book to read: a history of the siege, it said on the spine, which wasn’t strictly accurate, since it only went down to where the colonel of engineers (Nicephorus’ old boss) got killed. It was quite hard going but I struggled through it.

they cheered and stamped their feet and threw their hats in the air, which is quite a tribute when you think what hats cost these days.

it’s possible to build a beautiful house on the lip of an active volcano, with all the hot water you could ever want, and restructure your mind so you don’t actually think about what you’re doing, or what will inevitably happen.

Of course, a lot depends on your definition of the word true.

One man’s opinion is another man’s prejudice is another man’s bigotry.

Have opinions, by all means, but keep the nasty things to yourself.

I listened to a bunch of them, great scholars who knew everything there is to know, discussing some abstruse point, something along the lines of, was the post of Count of the Stables introduced by Cleomenes II or Strabo IV? One faction said there was good evidence (which they recited in detail) to say it was Cleomenes. The other lot adduced equally good evidence to say it was Strabo. Then someone passed round a bottle of the really good stuff, and when it was all gone, someone said, I know, let’s vote on it. So that’s what they did. Nine votes for Cleomenes, seven for Strabo, and that’s how we know, as a matter of cold scientific fact, which emperor created the post of Count of the Stables.

At the very least, it’ll give the generals something to do. I worry they’ll get bored and try something stupid.”