Agile Conversations: Transform Your Conversations, Transform Your Culture

by Douglas Squirrel

The goal of the Fear Conversation is to discover hidden fears and make them discussable. But how do they get hidden in the first place? Part of the answer lies in a nondescript waiting room at Columbia University, where researchers Bibb Latané and John Darley told a group of students to fill in a questionnaire as part of a psychology experiment. After a few minutes, smoke began to flow into the room from a wall vent. Everyone kept writing; none of the students said a word. More smoke billowed in, and it became hard to see. Nothing happened. No one made a move to get help or even asked what was going on. Eventually, the acrid smoke led to coughing and watering eyes, and one participant opened a window—but the dogged students continued writing, not discussing the unfolding crisis or seeking assistance until the experimenters stepped in and terminated the exercise.5 The phenomenon on display here is variously known as the bystander effect or, our favorite term, pluralistic ignorance. Individuals are uncomfortable with an event or observation, but since others are not acting, they (wrongly) assume that everyone else thinks the situation is normal and safe, and don’t act themselves.*** A common fear is felt by some or all of the people involved, but the expression of that fear is inhibited by the apparent consensus of the rest of the group. In other words, people would rather die in a fire than be the first of the group to report the smoke. That’s how strong pluralistic ignoran...