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Great results follow when you learn that a conversation is about more than just talking; it is a skilled activity. There is more to a conversation than what you can see and hear. In addition to what is said out loud, there is what has been left unsaid—the thoughts and feelings behind our spoken and unspoken words.
The Five Conversations are: 1.The Trust Conversation: We hold a belief that those we work with, inside and outside the team, share our goals and values. 2.The Fear Conversation: We openly discuss problems in our team and its environment and courageously attack those obstacles. 3.The Why Conversation: We share a common, explicit purpose that inspires us. 4.The Commitment Conversation: We regularly and reliably announce what we will do and when. 5.The Accountability Conversation: We radiate our intent to all interested parties and explain publicly how our results stack up against commitments.*
1.People are communicating beings, doing best face-to-face, in person, with real-time question[s] and answer[s]. 2.People have trouble acting consistently over time. 3.People are highly variable, varying from day to day and place to place. 4.People generally want to be good citizens—are good at looking around, taking initiative, and doing “whatever is needed” to get the project to work.
five key attributes of successful software teams: high trust, low fear, understanding why, making commitments, and being accountable.
These pitfalls are: 1.We won’t be transparent and curious when we lack Trust. 2.We will, consciously or not, act defensively when we have unspoken Fear. 3.We will be unable to generate productive conflict when we lack a shared Why. 4.We will avoid definite Commitments as long as the situation feels threatening or embarrassing. 5.We will fail to learn from our experiences if we are unwilling to be Accountable.
Without aligned stories that let everyone share a model of expected behavior, no one is ready to believe there is anyone steering the ship, much less believe there is anyone prepared to agree on a direction.
