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“They mean that you lived. You’re here with me right now. If you think that your scars make me want you any less, you’re wrong. I want you because of them. I want you because you’re here and you’ve made me feel more alive in the past month than I have my entire life. You lived and you brought me to life.”
I take a step back and just keep right on staring at her, wondering how I got so lucky and imagining all the ways I want to show and prove to her that I’m not lying when I say I think she’s beautiful. No, not just beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. In basketball, we refer to this moment as the triple threat. It’s when a player first gets possession of the ball and can pass, shoot, or dribble. The full range of offensive options are at his disposal. For five seconds, he can question which move to make, but after that, after he makes a move, the options dwindle. Do nothing and
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When he stands tall, nearly seven feet of muscled perfection, I’m drawn to him in a way that has nothing to do with the way he looks, and I wonder if it’s the same for him. I hope so… and also not. I want him to want me because he thinks I’m beautiful, but I don’t want him to ignore the ugly either. I want someone to love me for the ugly and the beautiful, and every shade in between. True vulnerability is being seen for everything you are, the good and the bad, and Zeke is the first person I’ve let see every part of me. The fact that he seems to like me, just the way I am, is breathtaking and
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Inside my room, I stop short at the pink bike with a big red bow stuck to the basket, just like I said I wanted. A card pokes out of the basket and I grab it and sit on the bed, reading through the sobs: Someday I’m going to buy you a cherry red convertible. Until then… Zeke