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Everyone leaves at once and the only one who offers me a goodbye glance is Gabby. She lifts one hand in a small wave, but my response is so delayed that by the time I get my hand in the air to wave back, she’s gone.
“Tall and muscular, for sure. I’m curvy and I don’t want to feel like I’m going to crush some poor guy if I straddle him while doing the reverse cowgirl.”
She launches herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck and pressing our bodies together in the process. She’s like a mini-tornado, but she feels like a welcome disturbance to my steady routine.
Her aim and power are god awful, but the giggle and smile that accompany her efforts make a perfect beeline to the left side of my chest. She’s reckless and naïve. So desperate to make a mark on the world she doesn’t realize she already has.
“If he wants to act as my protector then I’ve got plenty of items on my list that I could use back up for.”
I threw the boob display in for dramatic flair, but holy smoke, batman, my ego is getting a nice boost as his heated gaze drops to my chest before he catches himself and looks away. Zeke is a boob guy. Interesting. I file that away in the very short list of things I know about him.
“When you’re a big NBA star traveling around the country with fans screaming and paparazzi everywhere, you’re going to miss this.” My throat is thick as I swallow. “I think you’re right about that.” Her smile widens. Blonde hair blowing like a halo around her, skin sun-kissed, eyes the color of the water you see in those commercials for vacations where you stay in the little huts. Before I do something stupid like kiss her, I turn to watch a boat pass by, giving them a small wave.
I can’t make out her form until I’m halfway down to the water. She sits on the dock, feet dangling above the water. She’s so fucking beautiful and innocent and I want to ruin her and worship her all at the same time.
When I open my playlist, my gaze snags on the sub-title, You’re beautiful on the outside too.
Zeke reappears smelling divine like soap and just… Zeke. He’s left his shirt off and only wears a pair of grey sweatpants that sit low on his hips.
This does things to me.
And that’s how I end up sleeping in the same bed as Gabby for the first time. And as for sleep – I would have fared better on the couch. You can’t lie next to a hot chick and not think about sex, and you can’t sleep with a boner. You just can’t. It’s science.
Ever since I walked into her apartment, I’ve been playing out the night in my head like a Choose Your Own Adventure novel. If I touch her hand, will she shiver at my touch? If I kiss her, will I be able to stop? If I don’t make a move soon, will my dick actually fall off from the perpetual blue balls?
“You’re stunning in that dress. Scratch that, you’re stunning. The dress is just along for the ride.”
Being with Gabby is like wearing my headphones except instead of music drowning out the noise, it’s her making everything else fade to the background.
“They mean that you lived. You’re here with me right now. If you think that your scars make me want you any less, you’re wrong. I want you because of them. I want you because you’re here and you’ve made me feel more alive in the past month than I have my entire life. You lived and you brought me to life.”
I take a step back and just keep right on staring at her, wondering how I got so lucky and imagining all the ways I want to show and prove to her that I’m not lying when I say I think she’s beautiful. No, not just beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
People tell me beauty is skin deep. They’re wrong. The longing I feel to be seen as beautiful is rooted deep in my soul.
I want someone to love me for the ugly and the beautiful, and every shade in between.
In truth, we’ve talked every day either by text or an actual phone conversation, and one video call from his hotel room in Denver that involved lotion as lube and a memory that is forever burned into my brain. Watching a guy get himself off is seriously hot.
Agreed.
