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August 15 - August 18, 2025
He looked terrible. And yet, he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. This second thought felt slightly traitorous, as it flitted through my mind.
Taking the insurmountable and, quietly, making it surmountable.
“Show me that unrelenting brute force, Tisaanah.”
The answer, of course, was, Yes, frequently, in great detail. But I would pretend that wasn’t the case as long as I possibly could. I was, after all, a well-practiced, world-renowned expert in denial. I was good at magic, good at fighting, good at gardening. But I was excellent at avoiding inconvenient truths.
No counting her dancing steps with me.
There was power in being underestimated.
My last thought, as sleep took me, was that I wouldn’t mind at all if I was tethered to his harbor forever.
And maybe I needed sleep, but did I really need it any more than I needed her? Than I needed to spend every possible second inside of her, or touching her, or watching her, or listening to her? I wanted to memorize every sound she made, every expression, every freckle or mole, like I was a cartographer tattooing a map of her onto my soul. Still so many paths to chart.
“Letting you find out that I’m ticklish will be the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”
Oh, yes, now I remember. Everything is terrible.
Somewhere deep inside of me, beneath the unease and anxiety that had plagued me all day, a wicked flower took root.
I would not accept another kiss goodbye.
Maybe freedom was always a little bit terrifying.
Once, many years ago, he had told me that his grandfather used to say that every moment in life was a coin with one dark side and one light. They fell on the ground with one side facing up, but the other always lay beneath it, there, but hidden. Serel always saw both sides of the coin, even when fate handed him nothing but darkness.
“We’re not done,”
My name is Tisaanah. I am a free woman and yet still a slave. I am fragments of many things but a whole of only myself. I am a daughter of no worlds, and all worlds. And I am not done yet.