The Modern Break-Up

by Daniel Chidiac

I understand that matters of the heart aren’t always black and white. There’s a lot of gray. People aren’t always certain at every moment of their life.

Unlike others, I don’t just give up on someone so easily.

“You don’t have to hate him; you have to face the truth about the type of person he is.

‘No matter how attractive a person’s potential may be, you have to date their reality.’

You can know someone isn’t right for you and still be weak toward them.

Most people are looking for some epic spark, but I’ve found, in most cases, it fizzes out when it’s lit too quickly.

A man has respect and integrity. He has self-awareness and will fight to give the people he loves the best opportunity in life, not make them constantly feel insecure.

We have to choose men who respect us for the amazing beings that we are.

The more love we find for ourselves, the more we realize that.

people will treat you the way you allow the...

“What energy is he giving off in regard to his intentions? How does he react to things that are important to me? What are his morals and values? What do I need in a partner?”

To deliberately mislead someone who likes you is a very low act. As human beings, we have to be aware of and take responsibility for how our actions affect others, even unintentionally.

Her feelings are solely her responsibility, but let’s be real for a minute; people can impact the way we feel.

a big reflection of someone’s character is how they treat you when you’re vulnerable.

At the end of the day, we choose who we dedicate our time to and who we allow in.

“It’s so easy to hate, but that isn’t going to heal you properly. It can actually keep torturing you. Some people hold on to that poison forever, and it affects everything they do in their life. It turns them into the people they despise.”

Being empathetic doesn’t mean being weak,”

But we need to allow someone to grow on us, not predetermine the outcome so quickly. Once you start putting in your head ‘I want to be with this guy,’ especially so early on, it can be very dangerous. I think, if you got to know him better before committing so much, you would’ve picked up on that. The signs were probably there. That’s why you can’t completely give yourself so quickly. You need to make sure that the next guy you date is at the maturity level you are,”

it seemed like you started thinking about him more once he started to pull away. At the start, you were cool with him just being there. You were still doing your own thing, and I didn’t hear you speak about him as much as you do now,”

“Seriously, though, you gotta work out why you desire certain people so much. I think it’s something about you that you have to work on. You deserve a deeper connection. That should be the priority,”

Everyone is on their best behavior when you first meet; they’re trying to impress you.

“Just don’t give your heart away to someone so easily. Share it but never give it away completely. You lose your connection with your soul that way. You need to make sure you’re getting what you really want.

I’m relating insignificant things to it, and it’s like everyone else’s relationship is a reflection of what my life isn’t.

“She didn’t know commitment, and I think she was scared of it to a degree. She didn’t understand herself, which didn’t allow her to understand others. I ignored the red flags. And look, no one’s perfect, but some were big red flags, especially for what I needed in my life. I like more stability and less drama. I guess you just gotta find someone on the same wavelength, who wants to head in the same direction. There’s a lot more to it than just attraction, but we all get way too caught up on that,”

Sometimes it’s just confusing to know what someone wants, especially when they keep contacting here and there,”

If a guy really wants to be with someone, he will do everything he can, and it will be very clear to you. If he’s only coming around here and there, it means he doesn’t really want it or is confused. And on the odd occasion that he does want it and isn’t being clear, then he’s not a man. He should man up and grow some balls, and if he won’t, then you don’t want that. He misses out. That’s it.

“We’ve all been infatuated with someone who isn’t right for us. Even my guy friends go through it. Your intelligence just needs to override your emotions, and that will take time,”

‘Son, follow your heart, but take your brain with you.’

You just have to stop falling for people so quickly. You need to be more aware.”

I thought my happiness was solely dependent on the way others treated me, how they looked at me, what they thought about me, or how much attention they gave me.

“Rach, the truth is that you’re the one who needs to grow up and stop wanting guys who keep fucking you around.”

Sometimes I became so fixated on trying to catch someone, I lost sight of everything else in my life.

I thought I needed a guy who challenged me from the start.

if I never got past wanting someone who didn’t want me and actually gave other people a chance, I would’ve continued assuming they weren’t right for me and missed out on something amazing.

A life partner helps brings out the best in you; they don’t take advantage of your weaknesses.

The problem is, she tries to evolve the people she likes and help them see what she sees. That’s a beautiful trait but not when she’s losing herself in the process.

You can’t force someone to evolve with you. It either happens naturally with effort from both sides, or it doesn’t happen at all.

You know that “walking on thin ice” feeling? You gotta find that perfect balance of showing interest without being too interested. Too much weight on one side and you sink. I just feel like he’s in that zone way too often.

He needs to grasp that most people are just doing their own thing and have certain priorities. The truth is, he isn’t a priority to certain people. And I guess, in this day and age, most people are fucked. It’s what suits them at that moment. They lack common decency. They’re selfish. If it doesn’t suit them to write back, they won’t. The truth is, some people play games and are just really fucking rude. They’ve got no integrity and their word means nothing.

“The one who cares less holds more power.” But I don’t think it’s about caring less than the other person; it’s about staying who you are and not losing yourself just to please someone else.

guess you gotta be to the point sometimes. If it works, it works. If not, you have your answer,”

I have to accept that not everyone is for me, and I’m not for everyone,” Jordan said wisely.

It’s convenient for some guys just to have you there when they want. So, if you keep going every time he wants it, you make it easy for him. And guys do talk shit … you’re right. I think people do in general. But if a guy really wants more with you, he won’t try to sleep with you immediately. It won’t be his only agenda every time he sees you,”

“What I was saying is that he’ll make more of an effort than trying to keep you indoors all the time. And the most important thing, his actions will match his words,”

“I think you’ll know by his actions what stage a guy is at. We always say people give us mixed messages, but I think we know. We just don’t want to face it. I don’t even have to tell you this stuff; you know it in your heart. It doesn’t matter what else he says or tries to make you believe,”

he has any maturity, he won’t think that. Most guys just won’t think too much into it at all. Their silence isn’t because they think badly of you; it’s because maybe they’re only interested in sex.

‘Because I didn’t think he would see me again if I didn’t.’ To be honest, if that’s why you’re sleeping with someone, it’s probably not worth it. Do you really want to sleep with someone who you think wouldn’t see you again if you didn’t? Think about it. Guys would probably kill me if they found out I was telling girls not to sleep with them,

“Look, I can tell you’re a sweet girl. Just be more cautious and take charge of your decisions. You can be in the driver’s seat. You can demand respect. If they don’t want to see you because you won’t sleep with them every time, I doubt that’s the guy who will make you happy,”

Everyone is searching for different things; you have to accept that.”

“Yeah, well, when a great guy does come along, that’s when girls have to stop their bullshit and give someone like that a chance. If you keep rejecting guys who are making a real effort to take you out and get to know you, then you’re also the problem. Sorry to break it to you. Meet them halfway. If what you’re going for now isn’t working for you, make changes. You gotta get real as well,”