Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

by Pema Chödrön

Some people work hard, day and night, in the field of helping others, but their strongest motivation is to stay busy so they can avoid feeling their own pain. Some are driven by an idea of being “good,” instilled in them by their family or culture. Some are motivated by feelings of obligation or guilt. Some do good to keep themselves out of trouble. Some are driven by the prospect of rewards, in this life or maybe in a future existence. Some are even motivated by resentment, anger, or a need to control. If we take a good look within, we will probably discover that motivations like these are mixed with our genuine desire to help others. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up about this because all these motivations come from our natural human tendency to look for happiness and to protect ourselves from pain. But they do keep us from becoming more connected with our own hearts and with the hearts of other people. This makes it difficult for us to benefit others in any deep way.