Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

by Pema Chödrön

Asking “Does it matter?” and working with payu is a gentle, but effective, method for working with our karma and gradually transforming our mind and its habits. If we get the hang of this approach, we will find ourselves enjoying our lives more than ever because we won’t be continually dragged down by our self-destructive propensities. This is why the Buddha encourages us to lead a virtuous life.

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Am I perpetuating my sense of being in opposition? Or am I going against that tendency by lessening the gap between myself and the world? Am I increasing my sense of separateness from others? Or am I nurturing bodhichitta, the longing and commitment to wake up for the benefit of all living beings?

“It may be a small event for you, but it’s a major event for the spider.”

Polarization is at its most problematic when we dehumanize people—when we forget that the people we judge, criticize, and disagree with are actually as fully human as we are.

“Just like me, this person doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable. Just like me, this person loses it sometimes. Just like me, this person doesn’t want to be disliked. Just like me, this person wants to have friends and intimacy.”