Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different

by Chuck Palahniuk

Imagine a stripper walking out onstage, shucking his or her pants, and saying, “This is my junk. Any questions?” Whether it was Channing Tatum or Jenna Jameson, you’d feel cheated.

readers or exotic dance enthusiasts, we want tension.

Arbitrary as it might sound, nobody wants to hear about your dream from last night. Not even Carl Jung, unless you’re paying him $150 an hour, and even then he’s faking his interest. Dreams are fake, and fake stuff creates no tension. Fiction is already fake stuff so you don’t need to water it down with faker stuff. Remember, you came to me. You asked my advice on writing, and I’m telling you what I was taught: no dreams.