If I Never Met You
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Read between June 13 - June 14, 2022
14%
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Laurie and Emily had wept together until the waitress slapped two large glasses of wine down on their table, muttering “On the house,” before hastily beating a retreat. Here’s to sisterhood.
21%
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She was often up against worse-for-wear posh lads for the prosecution, almost proud of winging it, using cut-glass vowels like a scythe. Well, Laurie thought it was way more rock ’n’ roll to know your case back to front and wipe the floor with them.
27%
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She understood what he meant, she felt it too: going home now to dinner for one was pure surrender. They couldn’t let the lift win.
40%
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Whoa! Exotic totty! Jamie had replied to the last saying: “Laurie is from Hebden Bridge—surely even you’ve been to Yorkshire, Dave.”
41%
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“Things have come to a pretty pass when a woman can’t go for five mojitos, two toots of coke, a bump of ket, and a game of strip Boggle in the Britannia Hotel without being called loose anymore,”
67%
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Laurie had thought Dan was the source of the unconditional love in her life, but actually it was Emily: she wasn’t going to turn around and say sorry, she’d found a new Laurie.
89%
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“We’re not girls,” Nadia said. “So you can explain your mode of address.” “Hey, y’all look pretty young to me,” he said, chewing gum and grinning in what he thought was a flirtily winning manner. Emily said: “Oh, you dear sweet fool, she will now verbally decapitate you.”
90%
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“Hey, how’s the infection, did it clear up? “Wait, discount that last part, that wasn’t directly relevant content,” Hattie said.