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Just because you don’t discuss the effort it takes, doesn’t make you fake.
Have you got any idea how threatening that is to the male ego, for women not to need them?
You were equal with these men so long as you didn’t make them feel unequal, lesser, challenged. If you stayed in your lane.
Do you think the thing with men is, you’re frightened of needing someone, of relying on them?”
I liked him, but I thought, I’ll only mess it up.
And: better I reject him and he carries on thinking I’m unattainable and great than finds out the bitter truth. That’s wildly messed up, isn’t it?”
“If he gets to know me, he won’t love me.” “Or he’ll love you even more?”
I got to know you, and only loved you more.”
they had turned a negative into a positive reason to spend time together, to remind themselves of how valuable they were to each other.
Laurie had thought Dan was the source of the unconditional love in her life, but actually it was Emily:
She’s who I confide in now.
was she doing that herself, rejecting him before he could reject her? Maybe.
known all along this was how it would feel when it came to an end, and yet it still made her feel empty.
“Jamie, I’m not your responsibility. You know that, don’t you? You don’t have to worry.”
You don’t have to stay here, you know.
It felt oddly incredibly freeing to simply ask someone this.
She didn’t know the answer, and she had beaten herself up for not knowing it, without even realizing, for so long.
“There was no right or wrong answer. Whatever you did had a cost. There was only survival.”
“Also, remember this. You’re safe now.”
I was living in reckless ways, trying to hurt myself. Which I came to realize was about punishing myself.”
“One of the things those sessions taught me is, you need to speak up, ask for help.
If you don’t tell people why you’re suffering, or even that you’re suffering...
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She didn’t want him to do things like this: for her to come to feel he was there for her when she wanted,
it turned out a sympathetic, knowing smile as you passed in the corridor could do much for a feeling of someone quietly being there for you),
You live within the lines he draws or you don’t have a relationship with him at all. So I chose to live inside the lines. I wanted to have a dad.”
you were always such a determined, smart girl. Knew your own mind, made good choices.
“You are a very clever, very emotional girl.”
“Emotionally wise, I mean. You have been since you were a little girl, with those watchful eyes. You take it all in.
Laurie hadn’t realized that in asking for help, she was also offering it.
“You are a loyal person. When someone has your loyalty, it’s for life.”
Wanda was one of those kinetic people with need to always be doing.
“I still don’t know exactly what went wrong. I know I’m bright, Mum. Why can’t I figure out what went wrong with Dan?”
Whatever miscommunications, whatever differences, your mum was your mum.
“Daniel was able to flourish in your partnership, because you gave him the confidence, and because of that, he used you as base camp for his adventures. Your father used to do the same to me.”
“Sooner or later, Daniel stopped realizing it was you who gave him the strength, the foundation,”
“He thought life could be only adventure, without you. When he realizes what he has done, he will regret it very much. But first he’ll need to recognize the value of what he had in order to mourn it.”
“What do I do now?” Laurie said. Another question she would only ask her mum, this bluntly. “Have your own adventures.”
“Don’t wait for him, even though he is on his way back to you.
Her mum might not have had settled relationships, but she had rock-solid friendships.
They started as accomplices, now they were a team.
you’re so beautiful, you’re nonsensical.
None of it was to do with who Laurie was, anything she had to say for herself.
she knew this was probably the last time she’d spend time with these people, and realized that it finally felt OK. She was more than these people said she was—if
breaking up with Dan was the catalyst for giving fewer fucks about other people’s opinions and reminding herself who she was without him, well, perhaps it had almost been worth it. Perhaps, in their relationship, she had lost herself a little bit.
“My dad always says if you can help someone, you should help someone.”
“To be honest, it’s nice to have a friend at work. Nothing more than that to it.”
“Don’t worry about me, I’m used to it. ‘I’m married to the sea.’”
it had run its course, felt I’d wronged her and misled her. Tale as old as time.”
Laurie had a feeling of missing him before he’d left her life.
“Are you OK?” he said. Being asked if she was OK, a friend seeing her not OK-ness, tipped the balance.
