We need to replace the Romantic template with a psychologically mature vision of love we might call Classical, which encourages in us a range of unfamiliar but hopefully effective attitudes: ■ that it is normal that love and sex do not always belong together; ■ that discussing money early on, up front, in a serious way is not a betrayal of love; ■ that realizing that we are rather flawed, and our partner is too, is of huge benefit to a couple in increasing the amount of tolerance and generosity in circulation; ■ that we will never find everything in another person, nor they in us, not
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