When We Were Magic

by Sarah Gailey

Even if the fear I feel right now is amplified and more personal than usual, I’ve always been afraid of cops. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen how some of my friends get treated differently by police than I do. Or maybe it’s Dad’s and Pop’s stories of things that have happened to them and their friends at protests and marches and parades and all the little moments in between those things. Or maybe it’s because police officers bring loaded guns into schools where we have regular drills about how to hide from people who bring loaded guns into schools. I don’t know—they just scare the shit out of me, okay? And they scare the shit out of just about everyone I know.

My alarm goes off again. I turn it off and stay under the covers. It feels like maybe if I lie still enough, everything will freeze around me and I won’t have to face the day.